Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which has the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia
I am not sure how I came to realise that what I had survived was emotional abuse. I had been in an on/off relationship with my male partner for about 5 years when it finally shuddered to a halt.
Throughout this time I had battled internally to hold on to what I thought to be right and true against someone who consistently undermined everything I did, thought, said, believed. Whenever I stood up for me everything went wrong.
It was all about control. If he felt he was dictating everything and in control of me then things could be good. If not, they were not. Eventually he lost control completely which ended in a night of physical violence and deep fear.
Even that didn't have me running for the hills. It happened in my home. I could not escape him turning up. I lived with the fear of it happening again.
It was after this time that I started to seriously question my motivation for having anything to do with him. Why did I put up with it? This process resulted in my slow careful steps to ween myself away from such a destructive relationship.
It felt like an addiction - searching for the highs, craving to get them back whilst in the process destroying my mental and physical health. It was like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. Slowly a pattern took shape and I began to see that the way I was being treated was not necessary, right or normal.
It took alot of looking at myself and a great deal of inner strength to find the courage to believe that I would be able to rebuild my life.
I found ways to recover, forgive myself, work out why, learn to love myself, heal my mind and body and then move on to create the life I wanted to live and be me. This is what I would like to share with you. My sky did change from grey to blue. So will yours.
I read and researched all sorts of websites, blogs and books and found a tremendous amount of helpful people, techniques and information.
However I didn't find an approachable and friendly place where I could find all that I needed on my road to recovery. So I decided that I would try to put something together to build some support for other people going through similar experiences. A space where we can all help each other.
More information on what is emotional abuse is in the next post.
I would love comments on anything that I have posted and also it would be wonderful if you could pass on anything that others might find helpful.
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