One bite at a time.
How do you climb a mountain?
One step at a time.
"It is not the mountain that we conquer; but ourselves" Sir Edmund Hilary
Persevere - it takes time.
Building your self-esteem is essential when you are recovering from an abusive relationship. If you have been conditioned to think negatively about yourself and have started to doubt who you really are then now is the time for a fresh start, to fight for yourself and to polish off that diamond.
What is self-esteem? Fundamentally, it is how we value ourselves. To do this we have to know ourselves (strengths and weaknesses), see ourselves as we are and accept ourselves as unique and special and then like what we see.
"When we change our attitude towards ourselves, everything else changes as well, for our life is a reflection of the way we feel inside." Dr Mansukh Patel
It is time to focus on who you are, what you believe, what you want for yourself in your life and to start making the changes to ensure you get what you want from now on. Change is difficult and frightening so taking one bite at a time helps us to be brave enough to start.
I recently took part in a 5 day 400km charity cycle across Kenya. The best way I found to cope with this mental and physical mountain was to break each day down into 20km chunks, then stop and recharge for the next section. All I had to do was complete each chunk. Before I knew it I had completed the challenge.
Set yourself a challenge to value and love yourself - from now on and for the rest of your life.
There are a few key elements to consider as you take on this callenge:
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY - to be free you have to be responsible for what you think, decisions you make and the life you live.
PERSEVERE - be determined. It will take time and effort.
BE MOTIVATED - remember why you have made this choice. This is your chance; don't waste it.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.
So only think good things!!
Concentrate on all the positives you can find and feel about yourself - from talents to personality traits to everyday actions that you might overlook to parts of your body and to things that you have achieved. All the little things as well as the more obvious things.
Include everything you can think of and make a list - a long, long list.
I am good: at washing up, at being a mother, at parking a car, at being part of a team, at whistling, at texting with my eyes shut, at cooking a great scrambled egg, at finding a bargain etc etc (By the way - not the list I would make about myself!!!!)
Day dreaming is thinking. Make sure you spend some time every day dreaming about how you want to feel about yourself, how you want to live and how you are going to make it happen. Only good stuff. No looking back. No negatives.
This is just the first small step in bulding your self-esteem and next time I will show you some exercises that will help you take the next step.
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